Zombie Metaphors

A couple of years ago I was reading a review for the remake of Dawn of the Dead when I stumbled across this quote, “Those who survive in zombie movies are the ones who can kill their memories.” True, true. Whether it be mom and dad or the good times at the shake shack, you better rid yourself of your fond memories or you’re toast. Zombies prey on our struggle and inability to deal with death. It takes years to cope with the death of a loved one but if they’re a zombie you better be prepared to splatter ol’ Dad brains against a wall or you’re gonna be Dad’s next burger. When a zombie infestation breaks out the last thing you want to do is go into your room to pick up some cherished family pictures. Tears? A moment of silence? Bad idea. Zombies wait in dark corners just for moments when your eyes fill with water and you can’t see clearly. Even just looking behind as you run for your life (ala Lot’s wife) will likely get your killed. Zombies are the embodiment of death. You can’t conquer it, you can’t reason with it. It can’t be cured or tricked. It’s always hungry and wants to make you like him. All you can do is run… and shoot it. Okay, so you can’t shoot death but that is part of what makes zombie movies so fun. Watching a zombie recoil from a 12 gauge to the head is very satisfying. Take that Death! I’m still alive!

I’ve always liked zombies as a metaphor more than vampires. Vampires seem like a metaphor for celebrities. Sexy, whispering celebrities with love triangles that will last for centuries. Eternal celebrities who come out at night and whisper into each other’s ears and hiss as if they’re always having sex. Who cares about these elite heartless idols? Give me a hoard of ugly man-hungry zoms any day. Death’s workforce!  The proletariate!

Zombies are commies.  Vampires are capitalist pigs… or excuse me, free market enthusiasts.